With white walls and sterile smells
by kiwisdream2
Summary: AU: A car accident lands Kaname in a hospital where he ends up sharing a room with a very unfriendly roommate. KxZ


**With white walls and sterile smells.**  
**AU: A car accident lands Kaname in a hospital where he ends up sharing a room with a very unfriendly roommate. KxZ**

* * *

_Kaname opened the door, his gaze panning around the room, a feeling of dread running through him when he noticed the familiar silver-headed boy was no-longer in his usual bed-ridden position. A flurry of scenarios ran through his head, but stopped when the breakable silence was filled with the sound of a muffled flush._

* * *

He was on a gurney, and handful of people he didn't know dressed in scrubs where rushing him down a semi-crowded corridor. His vision was blurry and fading as a slew of muffled voices shouted medical terms he vaguely recognized, making him remember that he was barely hanging on. That he would probably die, and that his last moments wouldn't be filled with memories of the loved ones he didn't have, but with the constant agony the piece of metal still twisted and trapped in his mangled skin was causing him.

It was horrible. The pain he felt through his entire body- the fear he felt scratching at his skin as he desperately tried to keep himself conscious through the berate of lights and movement.

He was going to die. Kaname Kuran was going to die.

* * *

_He went to the silver-handled white door on his left and leaned against it. Trying to open the door would be pointless. Knowing Zero it was probably locked. Besides, he could say everything he wanted to from here._

* * *

He didn't die. Hell, he couldn't even feel a fourth of the pain he had experienced when they'd rolled him in on the gurney. The doctors had given Kaname so much morphine that he couldn't feel it when he wiggled his toes.

No one had come to visit him, although, that was to be expected. He'd gotten into the accident because of his own drunken stupidity, and he had the scars to prove it. His coworker though he was a jack-ass, his friends where probably ashamed of him, and Yuki was probably being forcibly held at home by his bastard of an Uncle. The only other people he could think of who'd be willing to visit him where his parents, and they were dead. Both in an accident just like him, and the hospital's sterile smell was bringing back all those bad memories.

The only company he'd have was his hospital roommate, a feisty silver-haired man looking a few years his junior and bluntly ignoring him.

* * *

_"Why won't you let me in?" Kaname asked referring to all the times he'd tried to visit Zero but was turned away._

_"I'm in the fucking bathroom, Kuran." Zero spat, his voice muffled by the door between them, " Why do you think?"_

_"No, no," Kaname said with a throaty chuckle, " You know what I mean."_

_"Do I really?" Zero rolled his eyes even though no one could see him, reaching out toward the sink to turn on the water._

* * *

White, white, white, white, white, white, white! It was all Kaname ever saw in this place. The white of the walls. The white of his cast. The white of his gown, his blankets- even his room-mate had a shade of white for hair! He was starting to get sick of it. A whole three weeks in this place and he still couldn't leave.

The only place he could go aside from his bed was the bathroom (which was still in the same room), and physical therapy (which was only twice a week, and at a specific time.) His room-mate kept giving him a death glare every time he tried to talk to him, and he'd recently realized that the numbness in his toes wasn't the morphine, but a spinal injury that fucked up his legs. He could walk- maybe in a year or two- but for now he had this awkward limp unless he had the help of the special white bars he cling onto in physical therapy.

It was embarrassing, and for a man like Kaname- whose pride had been on the receiving end of beatings since the day he'd been demoted at work- it was too much. He was starting to seriously starting to wonder how much more he could take.

The fact that his room-mate had just seen him collapse and piss himself during a desperate journey to the bathroom wasn't helping his pride at all.

"You OK?" The silver-haired man asked, slowly making his way over to Kaname when he didn't reply, "Need me to call a nurse?"

Kaname tried to hide his face from him in humiliation. The silverette sighed.

"Anyone who's been in this wing of the hospital had pissed themselves at least once," He said, walking over to his bed, where his distress button was. "It's embarrassing as fuck, but you'll get over it."

A group of people ran into the room, one of them shouting "Zero," which Kaname assumed was his roommates' name. The strangers looked surprised when they saw Zero standing by his bed, perfectly fine, and equally surprised when they spotted Kaname. After a few minutes a couple of nurses came to help Kaname up, while one of the doctors scolded Zero for pressing his distress button. Zero simply argued that the situation was an emergency, and that Kaname could have been seriously hurt in the fall.

* * *

_"Zero," Kaname insisted, letting his head hit the door as if it would bring him closer to the boy._

_"Maybe I just don't want to see you, Kuran-" Zero said, spending more time then he normaly did washing and lathering his hands._

_"Kaname, call me Kaname."_

_Zero turned the water off, "What the fuck do you want?"_

* * *

Kaname and Zero started talking after that, although not much due to reluctance from the silverettes's side- just a simple greeting every now and then, or a small conversation. Kaname found that the boy was actually quite entertaining, even if he was a bit rude and had a habit of giving people the cold shoulder. His time in the hospital was becoming more enjoyable, and his physical therapy was starting to show progress. He was told that he would be able to leave soon, maybe a few weeks if he kept at his current pace. Kaname was supposed to be happy at the news, but all he felt was anxiety.

He didn't want to leave. Not after he'd become friends with some of the nurses and doctors. Not after Zero had told him stories about his dead parents, and his twin brother who was going to university in England. Not after his sister had finally visited him and told him that she found a place, and that his bastard of an Uncle had finally been thrown in jail. Not after Zero had let him cry on his shoulder, and he'd finally started to get closer to the boy and realize how beautiful his amethyst eyes where.

"You don't want to stay here," Zero said, after Kaname had vented his worries to the boy. Kaname looked at him confused.

Zero rolled his eyes and grabbed Kaname's hand, "Come'er."

Zero pulled Kaname out of the room, treating the brunette like he didn't have a wicked limp as he dragged him down the hall to peak into another patient's room.

"That's Ruka," Zero said, pointing to a fairly beautiful woman who was currently looking outside of a window, one of her hands ominously handcuffed to the railing of the bed. "She had a few kids back home, but can't leave the hospital because she's got a bad case of cancer."

He inhaled deeply, "About a week ago she almost killed her husband when he came to visit because the tumors are starting to fuck with her brain. She might not survive, and if she does she'll probably end up in jail."

"Why're you-" Kaname questioned, before Zero told him to shut up and dragged him to another room, this time it was a little kid with short bobbed caramel hair, playing with some toys.

"That's Sayori," He said," She's got leukemia, but the doctors caught it too late, so she's going to be dead before her next birthday. Her parents are obviously sad as fuck, and although they might try to make the most of the time she had left, it'll probably never be enough."

Kaname felt sorry for them but was still confused. Zero didn't let him talk, and he continued to go through the different patiants in the wing. Kaito, Serin, Yagari, and many others- all dying. Eventually Zero dragged them back to their room, shutting the door and dropping Kaname's hand.

"And then there's me." Zero sighed, "Fucking heart issues, or whatever. There's some big word for it, but I don't really care anymore. I'm gone by the end of the year unless I get moved up on the donor list, but that's probably not going to happen. This is the last motherfucking place I want to be, and I'm pretty damn sure everyone else here feels the same."

Kaname was shocked. This was the first time Zero mentioned anything about a disease. He was in a hospital, so it was obvious something was wrong with him, but Kaname had avoided thinking about it. Zero had seemed fine, healthy even. He didn't even cough.

It reminded him of the week he'd been stuck with his unconscious mother in ICU. How she looked like she was just sleeping, even though the beeps and whirls of a bypass machine informed him otherwise.

"I want to be with my brother, Kaname." Zero said, "or at least know that I can be with him sometime in the future."

"But I don't have someone like you do, Zero-" Kaname insisted in an attempt to gather an excuse he really didn't need.

"Bullshit!" Zero said, glaring at Kaname like he had when they'd first started sharing a room. "Your little sister, Yuki. She needs you Kaname. She'd gone through a hell of a lot, just like you. She's lost her parents, put up with your bastard of an Uncle, and has had a brother in the hospital for the past two months who's seemingly forgotten about her."

Kaname felt his chest tighten in guilt. He couldn't believe he'd forgotten about Yuki.

* * *

_"I want to see you, Zero." Kaname said desperately, pausing to gather the courage he needed to say the next three words he'd practice saying in the mirror everyday leading to today. _

_"I love you."_

* * *

It was pretty hard to put things right. No, really hard. Zero refused to talk to him, and Kaname ended up getting discharged from the hospital after a week. He tried to visit Zero, but was rejected at the front desk multiple times, so he decided to take a break and work on his life. He went to see his sister, and ended up quitting his job, because after the first day he realized that all his co-workers where jerks. He ended up grabbing an editorial job with another company, where the environment was better, and the people more friendly. But in the month he spent getting life together all he could think about was Zero. Worrying over what to say when he saw him, picking out the right flowers, the right words, the right clothes, and trying to figure out how to get to Zero's room without getting rejected at the front desk.

He lucked out when he found out that the normal receptionist was out sick and her replacement didn't recognize his face. He gave a fake name out of paranoia, then ran up a few stairs to get to Zero's floor, and rushed down the hallway. Kaname opened the door, his gaze panning around the room, a feeling of dread running through him when he noticed the familiar silver-headed boy was no longer in his usual bed-ridden position. A flurry of scenarios ran through his head, but stopped when the breakable silence was filled with the sound of a muffled flush.

He went to the silver-handled white door on his left and leaned against it. Trying to open the door would be pointless. Knowing Zero it was probably locked. Besides, he could say everything he wanted to from here.

"Why won't you let me in?" Kaname asked referring to all the times he'd tried to visit Zero but was turned away.

"I'm in the fucking bathroom, Kuran." Zero spat with bitter sarcasm, his voice muffled by the door between them, "Why do you think?"

"No, no," Kaname said with a throaty chuckle," You know what I mean."

"Do I really?" Zero rolled his eyes even though no one could see him, reaching out toward the sink to turn on the water.

"Zero," Kaname insisted, letting his head hit the door as if it would bring him closer to the boy.

"Maybe I just don't want to see you, Kuran-" Zero said, spending more time then he normally did washing and lathering his hands.

"Kaname, call me Kaname."

Zero turned the water off, "What the fuck do you want?"

"I want to see you, Zero." Kaname said desperatly, pausing to gather the courage he needed to say the next three words he'd practice saying in the mirror everyday leading to today.

"I love you."

Zero stiffened, grabbing the sides of the sink as he felt water rise around his lilac irises, "You're an idiot."

"I know," Kaname agreed, "Sorry."

"I'm dying, ya'know." Zero let go of the sink, reaching a hand up to whip the tears from his eyes.

"You can't-" Kaname started to say, wanting to tell Zero not to give up on getting a donor, that just maybe he'd make it. But he knew it wasn't worth it. He knew nothing he could say would change Zero's mind, " I know."

"Only around 10 months left," Zero shuffled towards the door, unlocking it.

Kaname nodded silently, backing up from the door as he heard it unlock, and saw it open to reveal a tired-looking, puffy-eyed Zero.

"Jesus Christ, are those flowers for me?" Zero said, wiping his eyes again.

Kaname smiled, lifting the banquet into plane sight so that Zero could view the floral whites, the lilacs, and pinks in all their glory, "What? Do you like them?"

"It's like we're getting married or something," Zero grinned.

"We could do that if you want," Kaname offered, genuinely.

"Yeah, whatever." Zero struggled, some tears running down his face before he could wipe them away. "I don't know what wrong with me. I'm sorry."

Kaname bit his lip as he watched the man sob, choosing to approach the silverette and wrap his arms around him.

"Where do you want our honeymoon to be?" Kaname said, Zero's hair ticking his face.

"England," Zero choked, " Ichiru says it's really nice over there."

"It is." Kaname agreed, rubbing soothing circles into Zero's trembling back.

"You've been there?" Zero asked, relaxing into Kaname's embrace as he pulled his arms around the taller man.

"Yeah, when I was little." Kaname smiled at the memory, " My parents took me, and we went to some museums. I got bored and wandered off. I ended up playing with some kids on a nearby playground, with my parents freaking out trying to find me. They found me eventually and gave me hell for wondering off."

Zero laughed, " Trouble maker, weren't you?"

"Definitely." Kaname said, "'Still am."

Zero pushed himself away from Kaname, breaking the embrace. The brunette frowned, missing the close contact. Zero just looked down at his shoes, and began to speak.

" You can visit," Zero said, "I'm sorry about- being stubborn, and all that stuff."

"It's OK," Kaname replied.

"I'd like to see Yuki again," Zero reconnected their gaze, " She seemed... nice."

"She is," Kaname smiled.

"Maybe you can meet Ichiru, too." Zero smiled, " the next time he visits."

"I'd love too," Kaname said.

They both directed their attention to the door that creaked open, a small nurse peaking in at the two as she announced that visiting hours where almost over, and that they should wrap up whatever they where doing.

"Looks like I gotta go," Kaname said, after the nurse closed the door. He handed Zero the flowers he'd brought him and kissed the boy's forehead while Zero cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink.

"I'll see you again... t-tomorrow?" Zero asked, blushing again at the childlike quality of his tone.

"Yeah," Kaname smiled, waving goodbye before he exited the room.

* * *

_Zero stiffened, grabbing the sides of the sink as he felt water rise around his lilac irises, "You're an idiot."_ I love you to.

* * *

**Uguu. Look at that kawaii desu rabu.**


End file.
